


Gnothi Seauton

by arjache



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Gen, Humanstuck, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Transstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arjache/pseuds/arjache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Old Internet was a place where wizards still roamed. Where you could set sail in a rickety old ship and find yourself in wondrous lands. Where true names - not given names, not legal names, but handles, names of one’s own choosing - held a magic all their own. Where if you knew the right incantation, you could summon powerful beings to aid you.</p><p>It was a place where you could be anything.</p><p>Even a girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [casetrippy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/casetrippy/gifts).



> 
>     The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>     Your question was:
>     
>     > Oh great Oracle, knower of all the genders, all of them:
>     >
>     > What's the deal with gender anyway?
>     
>     And in response, thus spake the Usenet Oracle:
>     
>     } There are a lot of good deals to be had on genders these days if
>     } one knows where to look. Two-for-one bargains in particular are
>     } increasingly popular. The Usenet Oracle themself got their gender
>     } from a mysterious traveling shopkeeper many years ago at a very
>     } reasonable currency exchange rate.
>     }
>     } You owe the Oracle a pair of pronoun earmuffs.
>     

* * *

This is a story about the Old Internet.

Which is to say: This is not a story about the Internet as it is today. This is a story about the Internet of legend.

You may ask: What is the difference between the two? It is the difference between Modern Greece and the Greece of the Odyssey and the Aeneid. It is the difference between a land full of tour guides and a land full of hidden goddesses.

The Old Internet was a place where wizards still roamed. Where you could set sail in a rickety old ship and find yourself in wondrous lands. Where true names - not given names, not legal names, but handles, names of one’s own choosing - held a magic all their own. Where if you knew the right incantation, you could summon powerful beings to aid you.

It was a place where you could be anything.

Even a girl.

And just as the Oracle at Delphi told fortunes for the adventurers of Classical Greece, so too were there Oracles on the Old Internet. The most famous of these was the Usenet Oracle, a mischievous, ephemeral being which hid behind a thousand masks and never told the same fortune twice. But there was another, lesser known Oracle, one who could not be found at any mappable location. Legend had it she roamed the Old Internet, appearing to those in need, guiding lost sailors to safe harbor.

The tale of the Oracle of Light spread quietly, whispered from one weary traveler to another, on BBSes, on MUDs, MOOs, and MUSHes, on locked IRC channels: _She knows things,_ they said. _She told me…something special. She saved my life. And she can save yours too. Go and find her. Here are the magic words to summon her. Tell her I sent you. She’ll understand._

_But how will I know what to ask her?_

_She’ll know._

A decade passed, then two. Present faded into past, past into legend. The Old Internet faded away piece by piece: here a server failure, there a reorganization, until almost all that was left was in ruin. Internet historians sifted through the ruins, lovingly preserving the artifacts they discovered. _Here is where something important happened,_ they said. _Here is where the memories dwell._ But the Oracle of Light did not dwell in the archives. You could not find her there. Perhaps she covered her tracks too well. Or perhaps she never existed in the first place.

But just when it seemed all had forgotten her, a new tale started, whispered from one weary traveler to another, on twitter DMs, on tumblr asks, on Skype. _She’s back,_ they said. _She helped me once, a long time ago. Here. Let me tell you the magic words. Go and find her. She can help you too._

* * *
    
    
    Connected to Unknown MOO at 208.86.224.90
    Username: gallowsCalibrator
    Type HELP for instructions.
    
    AT END OF ROAD
    You are standing at the end of a road before a small brick
    building. Around you is a forest. A small stream flows out
    of the building and down a gully. Further to the west, there
    is an entrance to a vast labyrinth.
    ] w
    
    LABYRINTH
    You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
    ] xyzzy
    
    MYSTERIOUS ROOM
    You have been teleported to a small room.
    There is a bell here.
    ] ring bell
    
    You ring the bell loudly.
    TT has arrived.
    ] look tt
    
    A short, round black woman, with curly purple hair and orange robes.
    Both robes and wearer are slightly worn around the edges.
    Connected from: tt@zazzerpan.skaianet.net (1 minute ago)
    
    TT is requesting a chat with you. Open chat? [y/N]
    ] y
    

  
– textualTheosophist  [TT] is now chatting with gallowsCalibrator [GC] –

TT: You rang?  
GC: 1 D1D Y3S  
GC: UM  
GC: 4R3 YOU TH3 OR4CL3?  
TT: I’m an Oracle.  
TT: Let us assume, for the sake of conversation, that I am the Oracle you seek.  
TT: How may I help you?  
GC: 1 N33D YOU TO T3LL M3 SOM3TH1NG  
GC: 1F TH4T’S SOM3TH1NG YOU ST1LL DO  
GC: TO B3 HON3ST 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 4 MYTH  
TT: Most do.  
TT: That you’ve come here to seek my counsel regardless says something about you.  
TT: Something very important.  
TT: So yes, I can tell you something.  
TT: What is it you need told?  
GC: TH4NK YOU, 1 TH1NK?  
GC: TH1S 1S K1ND OF D1FF1CULT FOR M3 TO 4SK >:[  
GC: BUT TH3Y S41D YOU KNOW TH1NGS  
GC: L1K3 4 PSYCH1C OR SOM3TH1NG  
GC: 4ND TH1S 1S SOM3TH1NG 1 R34LLY N33D TO KNOW!  
TT: Please, do ask.  
TT: It’s okay.  
GC: UM W3LL  
GC: 1  
GC: 1 TH1NK 1 M1GHT B3 TR4NS  
GC: 1 TH1NK 1 M1GHT B3 4 G1RL  
GC: BUT 1 DON’T KNOW FOR SUR3  
GC: 4ND 1TS BURN1NG M3 UP 1NS1D3 L1K3 4 DR4GONS FL4M3  
GC: L1K3  
GC: HOW C4N 1 R34LLY KNOW?  
GC: BUT TH3Y S41D YOU WOULD KNOW  
GC: SO 1M 4SK1NG YOU  
GC: 4M 1 TR4NS?  
TT: Yes, I can see it clearly.  
TT: You are trans.  
TT: You are so definitely trans.  
TT: It’s you.  
GC: …  
GC: …  
GC: …  
GC: 1 DONT B3L13V3 YOU  
— You have disconnected from Unknown MOO. —  



	2. Chapter 2

> 
>     The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>     Your question was:
>     
>     > Oh great Oracle, with whom all prescriptions are filled:
>     >
>     > What is (was?) a Real Life Test?
>     
>     And in response, thus spake the Usenet Oracle:
>     
>     } The Real Life Test is a historical practice which has mostly fallen
>     } out of favor these days but can still be observed at some
>     } renaissance fairs. It was equal parts public spectacle/punishment
>     } (see also: pillory, stocks), feat of strength, and Saving Throw
>     } Against Will (as per the AD&D ruleset version 3 or higher.)
>     }
>     } Historically, doctors specializing in the treatment of trans people
>     } would keep goats or other livestock to keep the grass from growing
>     } too tall near the fences around their offices. Trans people seeking
>     } treatment would have to brave a gauntlet of hungry goats in order
>     } to get past the gate and reach the doctor. This was the "test" to
>     } which the Real Life Test refers. From this practice we can also
>     } trace the origin of the word "goatkeeping" in the context of trans
>     } health care, or, as it is spelled these days, "gatekeeping".
>     }
>     } Some doctors also kept a bed of hot coals just past the goats upon
>     } which the patient would be encouraged to walk, barefoot.
>     }
>     } Over time, doctors have increasingly abandoned this practice due to
>     } animal welfare concerns. However, to this day, most GRS surgeons
>     } still keep goats.
>     }
>     } You owe the Oracle a list of informed consent clinics in your area.
>     

* * *

  
– gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now chatting with textualTheosophist [TT] –

TT: Welcome back.  
GC: TH4NKS  
GC: 1M SORRY 1 D1SCONN3CT3D Y3ST3RD4Y  
GC: TH1S H4SNT B33N V3RY 34SY FOR M3  
TT: It rarely is.  
TT: Do you still not believe me?  
GC: GR4RRRRR  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW WH4T TO B3L13V3 4NY MOR3!  
TT: Believe in yourself.  
GC: 34SY FOR YOU TO S4Y  
TT: You’re connected to an ancient game environment having an argument with the living embodiment of an obscure urban legend. Only a handful of people know this place exists, and fewer still know how to connect to it. What part of that was easy?  
TT: And how on earth did you even find this IP address?  
GC: 1 C4N B3 QU1T3 TH3 1NV3ST1G4TOR WH3N 1 S3T MY M1ND TO 1T >:]  
TT: So you go to all this trouble to track me down so you can ask me if you’re trans, and then, when I give you an honest answer, you tell me you don’t believe me.  
GC: W3LL WH4T 4M 1 SUPPOS3D TO B3L13V3???  
GC: 1S TH1S TH3 M4TR1X? 4M 1 N3O 4ND YOU’R3 TH3 W1S3 OLD BL4CK L4DY W1TH PSYCH1C POW3RS T3LL1NG M3 WH3TH3R OR NOT 1M TH3 ON3?  
TT: I’m not that old.  
TT: Also, The Matrix was co-written by a trans woman.  
TT: It’s actually quite obvious when one rewatches it from that mindset.  
GC: BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW  
TT: How do I know what?  
TT: How do I know you’re trans?  
TT: How do I know I’m trans?  
TT: How does anyone know they’re trans?  
TT: What?  
GC: 4NY OF THOS3  
TT: I’m psychic.  
GC: L13S  
TT: This server is enchanted. It only appears to trans people in need.  
GC: L13S  
TT: I’m actually a highly advanced AI running an autoresponder program. While we’ve been talking, I’ve been running a psychoanalysis of everything you’ve said to me. The results: 100% trans.  
GC: L13S  
GC: 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR L13S  
TT: Through plain text.  
GC: Y3S  
GC: SO PL34S3 JUST  
GC: JUST T3LL M3 SOM3TH1NG TRU3  
GC: HOW C4N YOU B3 SO SUR3 1M TR4NS WH3N 1M NOT SUR3 4T 4LL?  
TT: The truth?  
GC: Y3S  
TT: I was 95% sure you were trans from the moment you rang that bell.  
TT: And it was confirmed when you told me how much you needed to know.  
TT: Smell my words. Tell me I’m lying.  
GC: BUT HOW  
GC: HOW COULD YOU POSS1BLY KNOW  
GC: WH3N 1 DONT KNOW 4ND 1TS D3STROY1NG M3  
TT: Because only trans people say things like that.  
TT: Call it an enchantment if you will, or don’t, but cis people don’t come here.  
TT: And they definitely don’t ask me if they’re trans or not.  
TT: In the entire history of this MOO, only trans people have ever connected.  
TT: Every single one. Trans. Even if they didn’t know it yet, I did.  
TT: I know why you’re here, GC. I know what you’ve been doing. Why you hardly sleep. Why night after night, you sit by your computer. You’re looking for her. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when she found me, she told me I wasn’t really looking for her. I was looking for an answer. It’s the question that drives us. It’s the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.  
GC: C4N W3 PL34S3 B3 DON3 W1TH M4TR1X R3F3R3NC3S NOW >:[  
TT: One more and then I’ll stop.  
GC: F1N3  
TT: Are you starting to believe?  
GC: M4YB3  
TT: Look, like I said, I know this isn’t easy.  
TT: Just give it some time.  
TT: Sleep on it.  
TT: Or if you can’t sleep, if it feels too urgent, then think about why that might be.  
TT: Lord knows I have lost enough sleep to this kind of stuff on my own.  
TT: Just hold onto these words:  
TT: I believe in you.  
TT: Can you do that?  
GC: 1LL TRY  
GC: 4ND UM  
GC: 1 KNOW 1V3 B33N K1ND OF COMB4T1V3 BUT  
GC: TH4NK YOU  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW 1F 1TLL DO 4NY GOOD BUT 1 DO 4PPR3C14T3 1T  
TT: You are very welcome.  
– gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now idle –  
— You have been disconnected from Unknown MOO due to inactivity. —  



	3. Chapter 3

> 
>     The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
>     Your question was:
>     
>     > Oh great Oracle, according to whom all genders are canon:
>     >
>     > My parents recently told me that I couldn't possibly be
>     > trans, because it's something that people online just made up.
>     > Is that true?
>     
>     And in response, thus spake the Usenet Oracle:
>     
>     } Actually, transness is not, as some have claimed, a recent
>     } invention, but was instead originally invented by an obscure
>     } 19th-century Swiss clerk trying to design a more efficient
>     } timekeeping mechanism. This is good because it means that all
>     } patents relating to being trans have long since expired, and now
>     } anyone is free to build upon the original work and/or transition,
>     } even without permission from the original inventor or subsequent
>     } rightsholders.
>     }
>     } You owe the Oracle a fan fiction about your favorite genders
>     } attending high school together.
>     

  
TT: May I ask you a question?   
GC: SUR3   
TT: Why are you still here?   
TT: Let me clarify that before I scare you off.   
TT: Because I very nearly did scare you off, or so it seemed like, and yet you came back.   
TT: Despite all your doubts, you are still coming in here and talking to me.   
TT: There’s a reason for that.   
TT: So why are you still here?   
GC: C4N 1 4SK YOU 4 QU3ST1ON 1N R3TURN?   
TT: Of course.   
TT: I’m an Oracle.   
TT: It’s kind of my job.   
GC: TH4TS WH4T 1 W4NT3D TO 4SK YOU 4BOUT   
GC: SO 1 GU3SS MY QU3ST1ON 1S TH3 S4M3 1S YOURS   
GC: WHY 4R3 YOU ST1LL H3R3?   
TT: Why am I the Oracle of Light?   
GC: Y3S   
TT: I still quite like the rogue AI explanation, myself.   
GC: L13S >:[   
TT: My lies are way more interesting than the real story.   
TT: It’s the Internet. Anything could be true.   
TT: And you get to go out there and make it true.   
TT: That’s the fun of it.   
TT: You could believe that I’m a depressed, tired trans woman blogger who got fed up with throwing away words into the howling toxic void that is our transmisogynist, racist culture and decided to revive an old urban legend to try and do some small personal good by saving trans girls who maybe just needed some words of inspiration, who needed someone to believe in them.   
TT: You could also believe that you are personally speaking to a mystical priestess, daughter of the Internet and great-granddaughter of the Pythia herself, who’s offering you a divine revelation that could save your life.   
TT: But no matter what you believe, know this:   
TT: I believe in you.   
TT: And that’s the truth.   
TT: So now it’s my turn to ask you again:   
TT: Why are you still here?   
GC: 1 DONT KNOW WHY 1M ST1LL H3R3   
GC: BUT 1 DO KNOW WHY 1 C4M3 H3R3 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3   
GC: 1 SP3ND SO MUCH T1M3 TH1NK1NG 4BOUT WH3TH3R OR NOT 1M TR4NS 4ND 1 GU3SS 1 W4NT3D SOM3 H1GH3R COURT TO RUL3 ON TH3 1SSU3 FOR M3   
GC: 1 DONT R34LLY TH1NK 1M R34DY TO H34R TH3 4NSW3RS TO MY QU3ST1ONS   
GC: BUT 1TS N1C3 KNOW1NG SOM3ON3 1S W1LL1NG TO TRY   
GC: 1 GU3SS TH4TS WHY 1M ST1LL H3R3   
GC: M4YB3 SOM3D4Y 1LL B3 R34DY FOR TH3 4NSW3R   
TT: I think that day will come sooner than you think.   
GC: 1S TH4T 4 PROPH3CY?   
TT: Call it a hunch.   
TT: You just keep coming in here and when you’re ready to ask me a question I’ll give you the best answer I can.   
TT: It’ll be okay.   
TT: You’ve got an Oracle on your side.   


* * *
    
    
    ] look
    
    LABYRINTH
    You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all different.
    ] xyzzy
    
    MYSTERIOUS ROOM
    You have been teleported to a small room.
    There is a bell here.
    ] ring bell
    
    You ring the bell loudly.
    GC has arrived.
    
    GC is requesting a chat with you. Open chat? [y/N]
    ] y
    

  
– uranianUmbra [UU] is now chatting with guidingCryptomancer [GC] –

UU: pardon me, but are yoU the oracle?  
GC: 1M 4N OR4CL3  
UU: there is something i need to know and it has been vexing me for a long time now and they said yoU know things. that yoU could help.  
UU: i keep wondering if i’m trans.  
UU: so please tell me, oh oracle: am i trans?  
GC: 1 C4N SM3LL TH3 4NSW3R CL34RLY  
GC: TH3 4NSW3R 1S Y3S  
GC: Y3S YOU 4R3 D3F1N1T3LY TR4NS >:]  



End file.
